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Mar 16 2005

“Don’t dick with Dr. Darling!”

Evidently my meek and mild-mannered Swede does have limits to how much crap she will take from the likes of our landlady AKA Nurse Ratchet.

During the course of Sunday’s bathroom ceiling inspection, Dr. Darling asked where the air vents were located in the frames of the four windows that were installed in our apartment last November. Cruella answered that there were none, but that was okay "because the windows were environmentally friendly", thus confirming our suspicions that she’s not only evil but also an idiot.

Dr. Darling decided very wisely not to even bother trying to explain to her that "environmentally friendly" does not mean these windows magically allow fresh air into our apartment when they are closed. Evidently there are interior air-quality regulations here in Sweden that are in all likelihood are being violated by the new windows because without vents in the frames, the fan-drawn air-circulation system in the building does not work as it should.

This comes on top of the fact we are not allowed to open the windows for more than *a few minutes twice a day* during the fall and winter months because the landlord pays the heating bill. Seriously, the beast from "Aliens" and her husband actually drive by the building on a regular basis to see who has their windows open…and those folks get a scolding phone call. (We know, we’ve gotten them.)

So anyway, in an uncharactaristic show of personal initiative, Dr. Darling ACTUALLY CALLED the local tenant’s association on Tuesday to ask how we were supposed to insure a fresh flow of air through the apartment without vents in the window frames. (Dr. Darling has an almost pathological phobia about making phone calls…even to her friends.) The woman she spoke to referred her to one of the city’s environmental agencies, and the guy there not only thought the air-quality in our apartment should be checked, he also found out that our landlord never bothered to get the necessary permit to replace the windows in the first place.

So now the entire building is on the environmental agency’s radar screen for the permit violation in addition to our concerns about the air-circulation in our apartment, and I’m guessing Cruella is going to burst a blood vessel when she opens the letter notifying her of the pending investigation. (Dr. Darling‘s name will not appear anywhere in the documentation.)

And to think, all we wanted to do was open the windows.

Feed my ego!

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