Apr 19 2006

The Vast Telia Conspiracy

So yesterday Dr. Darling rings me at my office from her mobile phone BEFORE NOON.

Shazz:  Where are you?

Dr. Darling:  I’m home. Our landline is dead.

Shazz: Please tell me you’re kidding.

Dr. Darling: I’m not.  But maybe it’s because they’re connecting our broadband.

(And in my head I hear “Since when are you the optimist in this duo?” but fortunately I didn’t say it … for once.)

Shazz: I think that’s highly wishful thinking, Sweetie. They said it would take a minimum of 10 business days on the 7th, and given that both the 14th and 17th were holidays, we’ve got at least another week to wait. Did you report the phone line yet?

Dr. Darling: No. If it’s been disconnected so they can activate our broadband, both should be working by mid-afternoon.

Shazz: And what if it’s just “not working” as part of The Vast Telia Conspiracy to cut us off from the rest of the world? We now have no broadband and no landline phone … which means we can’t even get online via dial-up.

Dr. Darling: Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. If it’s not working by mid-afternoon, I’ll call.

Well, the line was still dead by mid-afternoon and the automated service request system indicated they had found a problem with our phone line and it would be fixed in FOUR DAYS.

Later in the evening I was talking to my friend Nicci (on my mobile phone, of course), and when she got done laughing at my conspiracy rant she suggested that I check to see if the broadband was connected even though the phone line was still down. I didn’t believe for a minute that it would be, but I figured there was no harm in powering up the DSL modem. I turned it on and walked away without thinking any more about it.

Later I happened to pass the modem (connected to the main telephone jack in our entry hall … so convenient … NOT!) and noticed the DSL light was glowing green. Could it be? Dare I even hope?

I quickly dusted off my iBook (which has basically been in storage ever since we moved into The Penthouse – Nordic AKA Sweden’s Only Internet-Free Dwelling) and gently attached the DSL modem cable. I held my breath as I launched Safari … and low and behold, my yahoo.com homepage loaded immediately. I COULD HAVE CRIED.

Dr. Darling was in the shower at the time, but since the bathroom door is located directly across from the main telephone jack in the entry hall, I pushed it open from where I was sitting in the floor and shouted, “Honey, it’s a miracle!  We actually have broadband!”

“Seriously? Does the phone work, too?”

“It’s not THAT big a miracle.”

So we’re back online, which means regular blogging and e-mail correspondence should re-commence immediately … especially now that The World’s Most Boring Doctoral Thesis is back in the hands of its author.

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Feed my ego!

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