Sep 22 2006

With friends like these…

…who needs enemies?

Some readers may recall me writing about an old school chum that Dr. Darling reunited with while visiting her hometown this past spring. I was initially delighted about this because the Swede’s social circle is about the size of a pinky ring, and while I’m always happy to share my friends with her, I think it’s kind of important (and healthy) for her to have some pals of her own.

But then long-lost friend Freida (who is married with two children) came down for a weekend visit clearly expecting not only a “wild time in the big city”, but a wild time of the sapphic variety. And given that Dr. Darling and I have never even bothered to find out where the gay bars are in Malmö, we’re not exactly the best people to be in charge of this kind of entertainment.

So we arranged a Girls Poker Night instead, which was a lot of fun for everyone except Freida who was disappointed that A) we weren’t playing for real money and B) all of our female friends happen to be straight. If only that were the end of the story.

It seems Freida had decided she was not going to be denied basic training at Camp Lesbos if she had anything to say about it, and steeled by lots of alcohol she made several inappropriate suggestions to Dr. Darling after all the other guests had left and I had gone to bed. Dr. Darling thought she might have misheard the first advance and laughed off the second, but when the “topic” came up a third time she high-tailed it into our bedroom (where I was still awake reading), closed the door and immediately expressed concern that there was no way to lock it.

Needless to say, that got my attention. Up to this point, we had been giving the now dubbed “Weird Freida” the benefit of the doubt. It’s not our style to pass judgement on anyone else’s relationships…for all we know she and her husband may have some kind of open marriage arrangement. But the more likely scenario was that having a sexual encounter with another woman does not count as “cheating” in Weird Freida’s mind…even if the woman is in a committed, long-term relationship and you’re hitting on her while her partner is in the next room.

Remarkably, I resisted the urge to put Weird Freida in a cab to the nearest hotel, but only because Dr. Darling was already freaked out and I figured tossing her childhood friend out of The Penthouse-Nordic would have only multiplied her mortification at that point. Weird Freida was leaving in the morning anyway, and given that she’d had such a disappointing time we were confident that she’d never want to come back.

We were wrong.

She’s going to be in town this evening and because Dr. Darling is too polite and I don’t know how to say “Step-off Bitch” in Swedish, we’re going to spend the evening with her. But this time, we’re taking her to a gay bar. And if she scores, I’m thinking we’ll ALL be lucky.

Feed my ego!

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