Sep 18 2009

Swedish anatomy

One of the many charms of being part of a bi-national couple is the often comical way each mangles the other’s native language. It’s truly a never-ending source of entertainment.

These days, I tend to be the primary offender, but back in the first few years of our relationship when I spoke little to ZERO Swedish, it was all Dr. Darling. Some of these mispronunciations and misapplied word combinations are so funny that they beg to be repeated rather than corrected…and several have become part of our “couple lexicon.”

Case in point: “Buttlocks“.

Dr. Darling blames this on a biologist’s natural tendency to use correct anatomical terms (buttocks) combined with too many episodes of “Absolutely Fabulous” in which the word “bollocks” is tossed about liberally.

And why, you may ask … would we have occasion to use this accidently invented word so regularly? (Insert potential TMI warning here.) Well, for one thing, the Swede’s “buttlocks” happen to be spectacular specimens of perfectly proportioned and muscled roundness that demand at least bi-weekly admiration and commentary.

And, as long as I’m over-sharing, let me just go ahead and admit that I can’t keep my hands off them. (Apologies to both our mothers, who I know are reading this.)

In fact, it was a very early instance of my hands-on method of appreciation that prompted Dr. Darling‘s first-ever use of the word “buttlocks” in the form of a warning to me not to get them out of alignment. Say what?! 

I had never heard of such a thing, but evidently it’s possible to get the two halves of one’s @$$ “out of alignment”, an annoying and uncomfortable situation that … get this … is most effectively remedied by taking a shower. Yeah, right!  When I got done laughing, I was sure the Swede was making it up. Either that, or only the perfectly proportioned were afflicted.

So imagine my surprise when earlier this week, after returning from the gym, I noticed a rather odd sensation in that region that resolved itself almost immediately after I stepped into the shower.  My very own buttlocks had actually been out of alignment! 

And days later Dr. Darling still isn’t done laughing.

Feed my ego!

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