I’m not sure to what degree “Royal Wedding Mania” is occurring in the United States, but I’m pretty confident the couple’s selection of a “traditional fruitcake” as their wedding cake is not scoring them any points with my compatriots.
According to Wikipedia, fruit cake comes in many forms in the UK, which means it’s not limited to the perpetually re-gifted bricks that are commonplace in the US each Christmas. (Yes, the Wikipedia article mentions this, too.) Still, I can think of about 600 other kinds of cake I’d prefer to eat.
Also, it’s pretty obvious from this is a photo of the baker mixing up the ingredients that they are definitely going for the fermented doorstop version.
The marriage is clearly doomed.