Aug 12 2013

Re-branding Coach Hard-@$$

Last month around this time I started calling my MalmöMilen 2014 conspirator/coach/team namesake Sophie Coach Hard-@$$.”  I was just over a week into her cumulative Burpee Challenge at the time, and in addition to having to do the Burpees on top of whatever other work-out was scheduled for the day (including rest days), I had been denied “credit” for the one I had to demonstrate for Dr. Darling. 

I’ve since learned that the Swede was not alone in having no idea what a Burpee was, and since Sophie’s assignment had been issued by text message (she is both very high-tech and very low-maintenance), it wasn’t like we could ask her to show us how to do one. I knew enough about Burpees to be aware that there are several variations of them, however, and since Coach Hard-@$$ did not mention the addition of a push-up, for example, I sure as hell wasn’t going to add it.

But several of my social media pals, including some members of the MalmöMilen 2014 team, relied on “the Google” to figure out what a Burpee is, which means that we have all been submitting ourselves to slightly different versions of this full-body-torture. So naturally, during yesterday’s leisurely Sunday Brunch with the Sonic Youth, the subject of Burpees came up.

Sophie MalmöMilen 2013

Coach "Bad-@$$" on cruise-control during the 2013 MalmöMilen

Sophie asked me to describe the type of Burpee Dr. Darling and I have been doing, which she defined as a “Bunny Hop Burpee” with obvious approval. She then described the CrossFit version of the Burpee that she does, which involves lowering your body all the way to the ground so that you are flat on your stomach before pushing yourself back up into a squat, and then clapping your hands behind your head as you jump to your feet. At this point Matilda (somewhat cheekily) suggested that Sophie show us one right there in the restaurant, which she quickly declined to do.

“But I’ll do one for you outside!” 

Seriously? I had just watched this women inhale three plates of brunch chased with multiple warm-from-the-oven croissants (she had run 10k earlier in the morning) and yet she was game to demonstrate a CrossFit Burpee for us on a sidewalk in the middle of Sweden’s third largest city.

But here’s the kicker, she didn’t do just one. After showing us the various steps in slow-motion (including laying flat on the pavement on her stomach) she cranked out at least 3 of those monsters in quick succession LIKE A BOSS. It might have been more … I was in such awe of the display and her enthusiasm that I lost count.

So I’m thinking I need to re-evaluate the nickname “Coach Hard-@$$”, because clearly “Coach Bad-@$$” is a much better fit.

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Feed my ego!

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